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03-Aug-2016 12:45

I can’t remember many instances where I’ve been benched by a girl, but it’s been pretty easy to benchthem.” Part of what makes benching so attractive is its plausible deniability.

In a city where you can run into the guy who Gchat-dumped you or the jerk who ghosted after two months of dating, benching passes the sidewalk-run-in test exquisitely.

But when someone disappears and then continues to text you, you don’t even get that.But, as with so many formerly minor nuisances, it’s become comically frictionless in the smartphone era.You no longer have to take someone to lunch or buy them a martini or even have a face-to-face conversation.No, he corrects me, there is always someone doing the benching and someone being benched. “In a romantic scenario, you’re not going to go along with this unless you want to actually date the bencher. ’ But that’s literally sales 101: Ask questions so the buyer thinks you think they’re interesting.” Some might call it gaslighting, but benchers suffering from nice-guy syndrome may not even be trying to exploit the situation.If I were to pull this on someone who’s over the idea, he just wouldn’t respond. Conor, a 28-year-old law student in New York, says he’s often ignored advances from females in his life — but will continue to text and “spend time” with them while at school or in the workplace.

But when someone disappears and then continues to text you, you don’t even get that.But, as with so many formerly minor nuisances, it’s become comically frictionless in the smartphone era.You no longer have to take someone to lunch or buy them a martini or even have a face-to-face conversation.No, he corrects me, there is always someone doing the benching and someone being benched. “In a romantic scenario, you’re not going to go along with this unless you want to actually date the bencher. ’ But that’s literally sales 101: Ask questions so the buyer thinks you think they’re interesting.” Some might call it gaslighting, but benchers suffering from nice-guy syndrome may not even be trying to exploit the situation.If I were to pull this on someone who’s over the idea, he just wouldn’t respond. Conor, a 28-year-old law student in New York, says he’s often ignored advances from females in his life — but will continue to text and “spend time” with them while at school or in the workplace.“If I were ever to bump into somebody that I’ve benched,” says Billy, “I’d have nothing to feel bad about.