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03-Jun-2016 21:33

After 10 minutes of this, my neck went out on me, like one of the Three Stooges. I made a few practice casual touches, but he didn't respond.Then I met a man who was as far to the left as I am, in the weeks before the presidential election! My consultants said that I should pay attention to this.If I wanted to go for five days without hearing from a man with whom I had chemistry and three almost perfect dates, I would repeat junior high. After a while -- OK, who am I kidding, sometimes later that day -- you went to bed with him, and then woke up together, maybe shyly, and had a morning date.

I would say almost none of the women would care if they ever got laid again, even when they are in good marriages. They do it because it makes the men like them more, and feel close for a while, but mostly women love it because they get to check it off their to-do lists. Also, 91 percent of men snore loudly – badly, like very sick bears.

For my maiden voyage, I had coffee with an accomplished local man, who said his last girlfriend had been religious, a devout Jew, and this had driven him crazy. He said he had a good sense of humor, loved movies. This is a true story: He was 10 minutes late, and shaken, because he had just seen a fatal motorcycle accident on the Richmond San Rafael Bridge.

He had stopped to inspect the body, because he was worried that it was his son, although his son rode a dramatically different brand of motorcycle. I liked him, though, and we exchanged adorable and kicky emails, arranging another date, for sushi, and he was lively, cultured and sort of charming.

The next guy was also highly cultured, a creative venture capitalist, who was familiar with my work, and turned out to be a truly excellent conversationalist.

We had a coffee date, a long walk on the beach, a candlelit dinner, texts and emails in between, definite chemistry, and then I didn't hear from him for five days. (Of course, I mostly talked to my single friends and to Sam about Match.) They knew how brave it was of me to go on dates. This pattern repeated -- a flurry of dates, followed by radio silence on the man's part -- and made me mourn the old days, when you met someone with whom you shared interests, chemistry, a sense of humor, and you started going out.

I would say almost none of the women would care if they ever got laid again, even when they are in good marriages. They do it because it makes the men like them more, and feel close for a while, but mostly women love it because they get to check it off their to-do lists. Also, 91 percent of men snore loudly – badly, like very sick bears.For my maiden voyage, I had coffee with an accomplished local man, who said his last girlfriend had been religious, a devout Jew, and this had driven him crazy. He said he had a good sense of humor, loved movies. This is a true story: He was 10 minutes late, and shaken, because he had just seen a fatal motorcycle accident on the Richmond San Rafael Bridge.He had stopped to inspect the body, because he was worried that it was his son, although his son rode a dramatically different brand of motorcycle. I liked him, though, and we exchanged adorable and kicky emails, arranging another date, for sushi, and he was lively, cultured and sort of charming.The next guy was also highly cultured, a creative venture capitalist, who was familiar with my work, and turned out to be a truly excellent conversationalist.We had a coffee date, a long walk on the beach, a candlelit dinner, texts and emails in between, definite chemistry, and then I didn't hear from him for five days. (Of course, I mostly talked to my single friends and to Sam about Match.) They knew how brave it was of me to go on dates. This pattern repeated -- a flurry of dates, followed by radio silence on the man's part -- and made me mourn the old days, when you met someone with whom you shared interests, chemistry, a sense of humor, and you started going out.I recoil even from the word "date," let alone the concept of possibly beginning a romantic relationship. I have an almost perfect life, even though I've been single since my last long-term boyfriend and I broke up four years ago.